The sun has the best work-life balance I've ever seen.
Every evening, it just calls it a day.
Exhibit № 1 · The Classics Hall
The Classics Hall
The permanent collection: everyday groaners in their purest form. 20 original exhibits — tap a setup for its punchline.
Our roofer finished the job and wouldn't charge us for the last shingle.
He said that one was on the house.
Exhibit № 2 · The Classics Hall
I dropped a full carton of eggs in the kitchen this morning.
The whole family has been walking on eggshells ever since.
Exhibit № 3 · The Classics Hall
Our sourdough took first place at the county fair.
Finally, this family has a breadwinner.
Exhibit № 4 · The Classics Hall
My son asked when he'd be old enough to get my jokes.
I said, 'When you're a groan-up.'
Exhibit № 5 · The Classics Hall
I told the iron it deserved a day off.
It kept pressing the issue.
Exhibit № 6 · The Classics Hall
Our vacuum cleaner quit this week.
It was sick of picking up after us.
Exhibit № 7 · The Classics Hall
I fixed the car horn all by myself.
Not to toot my own horn, but I did a great job.
Exhibit № 8 · The Classics Hall
My wife says my snoring sounds like someone sawing logs.
That would explain all the sawdust on my pillow.
Exhibit № 9 · The Classics Hall
My kids say socks with sandals is a fashion crime.
Fine by me — I'm comfortable with the sentence.
Exhibit № 10 · The Classics Hall
The dryer ate another one of my socks.
I'd complain, but I don't want any static.
Exhibit № 11 · The Classics Hall
I've stopped arguing with the bathroom scale.
Its opinion carries too much weight.
Exhibit № 12 · The Classics Hall
Our front door thinks it's the most important part of the house.
To be fair, everything hinges on it.
Exhibit № 13 · The Classics Hall
Our smoke detector goes off over the slightest bit of burnt toast.
It's always been an alarmist.
Exhibit № 14 · The Classics Hall
I wasn't sure about the new glue gun at first.
But we bonded right away.
Exhibit № 15 · The Classics Hall
Our living room rug knows every family secret.
That's where we sweep them.
Exhibit № 16 · The Classics Hall
The lawn asked why I skipped mowing last weekend.
I decided to cut it some slack.
Exhibit № 17 · The Classics Hall
People say yard work doesn't pay.
Yet every fall, there I am, raking it in.
Exhibit № 18 · The Classics Hall
I asked my neighbor what he thinks of our new gate.
He's still on the fence.
Exhibit № 19 · The Classics Hall
I asked the locksmith the secret to his success.
He said showing up is key.
Exhibit № 20 · The Classics Hall
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